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By Larryg440 on Monday, January 17, 2000 - 11:08 am: Edit

I am a gay male in my 40s and recently had the shock of my life when my other half told me he wanted out of our relationship. I am trying to start over. I dont want to go to the bars, yet where else do you go to meet nice guys? I am a professional, sincere man who doesnt do drugs or drink alcohol. Any starting over groups? Anybody have any starting over tips??

By Cameron32 on Monday, January 24, 2000 - 01:31 pm: Edit

You may find it useful to use the personals section of this website to respond to an ad, or place an ad for yourself. Its free up to 30 words. How can you lose?

By S_gibson on Monday, January 24, 2000 - 04:39 pm: Edit

Starting over tips

Well Number 1 Take a vacation from the dating scene Get yourself well and worry about yourself well being first. You need an attitude such as screw the world for a few weeks get all your anger and sorrow out first. I made a big mistake by dating a person who asked me if i was just getting over a relationship. I told him no Well the problem was he was the one that was just getting over a relationship and decided to use me to parade in front of his ex to say he was over him. But in a ll he was not. So just make sure your over the ex..Take some time out from relations And catch up on the friends you left behind when you were dating.It is a shame in our community that so much is involved around the bar scene I am sort of like you also in the fact i dont care to drink much last thing we need is another alcoholic in the gay community

By Bendog on Monday, January 24, 2000 - 08:47 pm: Edit

I would agree that you should take a vacation from the dating scene and process all your anger and sorrow. Friends can be a huge suport. The lovers come and go but your friends will always be there.

I am sure that there is a lot of involvment in the bar scene, but there are a lot of other things going also. There are an infinite variety of service, political, spiritual and hobby groups that help bring people together. Sure this kind of activity is a little quieter and not so intense, but some great relationships are built by being involved in this kind of activity.

By Admin on Monday, January 24, 2000 - 09:11 pm: Edit

Heres a good idea - get involved in the community.
For example, become a volunteer with the Pride committee, or at the Center.
Youll meet a lot of people that way and youll also help out the community. They always need volunteers.
And you more likely to meet nice people this way. They are are already volunteering their time, too, so you know that theyre not too selfish;

Good luck to you!

By Jaguar on Tuesday, February 08, 2000 - 08:26 am: Edit

Good advice with the preceeding messages!

I agree that taking care of yourself is step number one! That includes indulging yourself with moderation and safely and not beating up on yourself with trying to figure out more horrible ways to blame the relationships end on something YOU did or didnt do. It just doesnt matter nor does it change the reality. Nor are you even assured that a reason for the breakup will ever be revealed, so looking for it can often prolong the agony and pain.

Meeting others through volunteering, joining clubs, going to gay events, can take the pressure of trying to date away while introducing yourself to some potential new friends.

One thing is sure: things will get better. They absolutely will get better.

Be good to yourself.

By Mas113070 on Thursday, February 07, 2002 - 12:06 pm: Edit

I agree..you need to become healthy and get rid of any baggage you may have from the last relationship before you start to date..you dont want to hurt someone and make them the rebound person...use your friends for as much support as you possibly can right now..trust me..they understand.

By Unelouve57 on Monday, February 11, 2002 - 05:01 am: Edit

MERRY MEET. Suggestions following the break-up:
Give yourself until Beltane April 30 to have sex with anyone. If theyre interested, theyll wait for you. Itll allow you to heal and the new relationship to develop more slowly. ALSO, SEEK OUT ANY FORM OF METAPHYSICAL STUDY. The variety is enourmous, you can seek it out online, and it will provide you with answers as well as healing. Last but not least, get yourself an animal companion. Treat it with Love and respect, honor the non-verbal communication, and appreciate how much kinder than humans animals really are. BLESSED BE, AND MAY ISIS SMILE UPON YOU.

By Alexslady on Friday, October 18, 2002 - 02:55 am: Edit

I think a seriously fun but safe sexing is exactly what you need. Lube up, go blindfolded into the night so you dont have to be too picky... and excrete the sweat from the old one onto the first one...but be nice and dont let the first one think its anything else but carthetic sexing. Dont wound another because, luv, it does come back around and I dont mean whose turn. I mean...karmic reprocussions.

Then once its all blown out of your system pausing and waiting for the applause on that pun ease into being single...enjoy some moments with just yourself giggling..there I go, again with the puns...and learn about the difference between being alone and being lonely.

All kidding aside..it hurts like hell. I got kicked in the gut myself this year after a 7 year lesbian marriage ended literally overnight. To get over the betrayal I had to have fun. I had to feel like the queen that I am. I had my first roundevous and then when my wounds were licked clean no no..restraining myself from another pun I was able to open myself up to some serious reflection and healing. And I am still in that process but I am now with someone I love. I never expected to find love after being brutalized over the break up...but you know..every cloud has a silver lining and if you can stand a little rain, the cleansing will take place...

good luck, luv. My hope is with you...

By Misio on Sunday, February 02, 2003 - 08:47 pm: Edit

this is off-topic but it is very important to me im posting this in every forum.
can anyone tell me if there are any gay friendly churches or religious organizations in cleveland area i have no religious preference. im looking to find a new church because my pastor recently preached about the evils of homosexual lifestyle.

By Quietqueeratksu on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 08:37 am: Edit

It seems that the closer to Cleveland you get, the more gay-friendly churches there are. Head about a hundred miles south and you will probably not find a single one. It seems that GLBT churches flourish the best in the Bible Belt because the straight churches in that region are usually intolerant of GLBT people and because people there, including gay people, are just more religious in general. But in big cities like Cleveland I have heard there are many gay-friendly churches. The directory in the GPC has a list of gay/gay-friendly churches/other religious groups, but there may be many in the Cleveland which are not listed there. There used to be a small evangelical gay church called Emmanuel Christian Fellowship, but it closed down some time ago, and the local chapter of Dignity, the Catholic organization, also closed down some time ago as well. I wonder if the abundance of so many gay-friendly straight churches put these predominantly gay religious groups out of the market, so to speak.

By Drewches on Sunday, November 23, 2003 - 02:56 pm: Edit

I, also, was looking for a church where I could worship as an openly gay man. After much searching, I found Pilgrim Church www.pilgrimalive.org. Its part of the United Church of Christ denomination which was one of the first denominations to openly accept and affirm the gay lifestyle. The congregation is very open and warm and has quite a few gay couples who attend some are families with children. Its also home of the North Coast Mens Chorus Clevelands gay mens chorus.

By Archwoodguy on Wednesday, July 13, 2005 - 07:08 pm: Edit

In November of 2001, I arrived in Cleveland from out west to join my partner. We had had a long-distance relationship for five years and decided to try it in the same place. He paid most of the expenses for my move. I walked away from a full life and a good job to come here. And I have to say it has been a disaster.

Its a very long story, but because of my partners career field, my arrival here set off a chain of events which ended with him losing everything. I havent been able to find permanent employment. We struggled mightily for quite a while. He has now settled into a new phase of his career, but I am still without a permanent job or any benefits. Now he has decided we need to end the relationship. He made a promise to me that I would not end up on the street, but now he is intent on moving into a small house owned by some friends and living by himself. I have no idea what I am supposed to do. I continue to work temporary jobs, but that has been quite unreliable. Ill work for a while but then not work for a few weeks which has wreaked havoc with my personal finances. In fact, I had to declare bankruptcy earlier this year.

The bottom line is Im feeling quite up against it. Im in a not-working phase again, and I dont have a clue what comes next. I know I have to figure something out fast. I dont know what the point is of sharing this, but if anyone has some thoughts, Im all ears.

By Charlotte on Saturday, December 31, 2005 - 11:10 am: Edit

HELLO ALL IM RECENTLY SINGLE TO NO DISMAY OF MINE MY GIRLFRIEND OF 5/HALF YEARS SAYS SHE WANTS OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP MY DELIMA NOW IS I NEED TO KEEP BUSY ARE THERE ANY GROUPS I CAN JOIN WITH PEOPLE IN THE AGE GROUP OF 38 AND MORE SO I CAN STILL KEEP IN TOUCH WITH MY GAY FAMILY SHE WAS MY FIRST AND ONLY GIRLFRIEND AND RIGHT NOW IM KIND OF LOST CAN SOMEONE OUT THERE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE